Harry Parody and the Philosophical Songs
by merlinhelz
Summary: We all know Harry and Ginny's story, but do we know it entirely in song parody? Now you can. Come read what it would sound like featuring music from artists like Abba, Artias, Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson and many many more...
1. Act One

Hey guys. Just for fun, I have compiled a number of song parodies into a musical of magnanimous proportions. Hope you enjoy :D

I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, or any of the song lyrics used. This is simply for entrainment.

* * *

_(Curtains Open. Set is a train station, Harry is on platform nine and three quarters. He is moving onto the train. Music starts)_

_**Mamma Mia**_

_(Mamma Mia – ABBA) _

**Harry: **

I've been cheated by them since I don't know when.  
Now I've started to find, the lies have come to an end.  
I'm magical now; what will I start to learn?  
I don't know how, but I'm more I've ever known.  
My 'olds were wizards, god bless their souls.  
Then one look, and I can hear a girl sing,  
Bright red hair, I hear her questioning, w-o-o-o-oh

**Ginny: **

Mamma mia, can we go again?  
My my, did you see his scar too?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, did you get a good view?

Yes, he's been brokenhearted,  
But Voldemort's now departed.

How, how did he ever make him go?

Mamma mia, I hope a friendship grows.  
My my, this boy, I really want to know.

_(Harry steps onto the train. A screen informs us a year has passed. Harry steps off the train)_

**Harry: **

The year went quickly by, before I knew it was though.  
I had the closest of friends, I could count on those two.  
Voldemort lived, he came back for more,

I stopped him again, but I don't know for just how long.  
He'll be back; I know I'll be strong.

End of year, I see the same girl again,  
Bright red hair, she starts a questioning, w-o-o-o-oh

**Ginny:**

Mamma mia, here he is again!  
My my, can I please meet him too?  
Mamma mia, will he show again?  
My my, after all that he has been through.

Yes, I'll been brokenhearted  
I feel that a crush has started.

**Harry:**

Why, why? To the Dursleys should I go?

**Ron:**

Mamma mia, can Harry please stay?

**Random people:**

Bye bye.

**Ginny**: _(to herself)_

I hope he stays forever.

**Ron: **_(in a proud voice to Molly) _

Mamma mia, since I have been away…

**Harry: **_(to himself)_

Bye bye, I'm glad it's not forever.

**Dudley: **

Mamma mia, he is here again!

**Harry:**

My my, no magic outside of school.

**Dudley: **_(pointing to where his tail used to be)_

Mamma mia, will it grow again?

**Harry:**

My my, why not have some fun too?

Yes, I am broken-hearted  
The holidays now have started.

Why why? To the Dursleys should I go?

**Dudley: **

Mammia Mia!

**Harry: **_(thinking)_

While magic is a no.

Lie, lie, the Dursleys never need to know…

_**In Riddle's Diary**_

_(In this Diary – Artias) _

**Ginny: **

In Riddle's diary,  
I told him all about my summer.

**Harry:**

It was the best I ever had.  
In a flying car I came along,  
Tried not to hurt your feelings.  
I didn't return how you felt, of loving matters.

**Ginny:**

Back at school I thought of stalking,  
But settled for a bad love song;  
Sending messages sung by the goblins of love.

**Harry:**

It still brings a smile to my face.  
I guess my eyes are pretty green...

**Ginny**  
In my first year, I kept all my feelings bottled up;  
Except for telling Riddle 'bout my life.  
I told him things that mattered,  
He started playing with my heart,  
And he made me do things that were not right.

**Harry: **

Breaking into slimy common rooms,

Heir wreaking havoc on our world.  
Hanging out in bathrooms to pass the time.  
Could Hagrid be getting in too deep?

Trying to find the heir of Slytherin,  
Hermione got petrified.  
Then he took you into the chamber to die.  
You wrote a message on the wall, just to say, "Goodbye."  
I grabbed Ron, it's time to go!

**Ginny**

In my first year, I kept all my feelings bottled up:  
Except for telling Riddle 'bout my life.  
I told him things that mattered,  
He started playing with my heart.  
And he took me into the Chamber that dark night.

_**Chamber of Secrets**_

_(Dirty Little Secret- All American Rejects)_

**Harry:**

Ron and I, we're marching on,  
Tom's been the heir all along.  
Petrified a kid or two,  
But now he's screwed 'cos he's got you.

I know your memory's gone away,  
Basilisk games, I don't wanna play.  
You're pale and cold, but you're alive I know.

I'll save you from the Chamber of Secrets.  
(The Chamber of Secrets.)  
All of his plans, I'll make sure Tom is gunna regret.

(Tom is gunna regret, I'll make sure I stop it.)  
The Chamber of Secrets,

Tom has to go.

Gin, I know you're still alive,  
I'm here to make sure you survive.  
I've won before, a time or two;  
But Tom is stealing life from you.

He's got my wand, I can't get away.  
He's playing games I don't wanna play,  
I need help.

**Sorting hat:**

Here is a sword that's good to go!

**Harry: **

I'll save you from the Chamber of Secrets,  
(The Chamber of Secrets)  
All of his plans, I'll make sure Tom is gunna regret.

(Tom is gunna regret, I'll make sure I stop it.)  
The Chamber of Secrets,

Tom has to go.

No place to run and hide. (And hide)  
Fawks got him in the eye. (The eye)  
Snake's dead, but now I'll die. (I'll die)  
Now Fawks is going to cry!  
An idea to start,  
Stab this diary!

Let's leave now from the Chamber of Secrets.  
(The Chamber of Secrets)  
All of his plans have failed, Tom's just another regret.

(Tom is just regret, diary's gone; I've stopped it)

I saved you from the Chamber of Secrets.

(The Chamber of Secrets.)  
You'll be okay, you're safe, there's nothing you should regret,  
(Diary to the Culprit. A sock, Dobby, please keep it)  
Malfoy's gunna regret.  
The Chamber of Secrets

The Chamber of Secrets

You're safe I know.

You're safe I know.

_**Hermione Turned Back Time**_

_(Turn Back Time – Cher) _

Hermione turned back time.  
Dumbledore found the way,

Sirius Black's my godfather, not a murderer, he's okay.

**Sirius Black**

I don't know why I let that Wormy in,  
I'll look out for James and Lily," he calmly said.

But he let out the secret that he held deep inside.

And Voldemort got them, it hurts all the time.

**Harry**

Please Sirius, you must now leave us too,

Though I don't want to see you go.

If you don't go you'll die.

Hermione turned back time,  
Dumbledore found the way,  
But the demantors will try to hurt you,  
You can't stay.  
Hippogryff to the stars.

**Sirius**

I'll send an owl to you!

**Harry**

It will be lovely, lovely  
To have an adult to talk to…

_(Scene Changes. Time has passed and Harry's name has been drawn from the Goblet ofFfire.)_

My world was shattered I was torn apart  
Someone else must have done it, I swear that I played no part.

**Ron:**

You are a cheat, you lie and Harry you never play fair!

**Harry:**

I lost my best friend, Ronald, then and there.

_(First task)_

I fought that dragon, made it sorry.

**Ron**

I now can see that I was wrong.

**Hermione **

You two have both been blind! and ooh...

_Music Cuts and Ginny walks across, she is having an epiphany._

_**I'm Giving Him Up**_

_(Must Get Out – Maroon 5) _

I've been hopeful, but quite mislead.

Thoughts of him still running though my head.  
He doesn't see me; likes Cho instead.

I won't wait to hear the words he's never said.

Going with Neville to the ball, what is it that I am looking for?  
'Mione guide me in the right direction!  
Maybe she is right this time,  
I'll keep this new boy by my side;  
Yet something tells me it is all a lie, yeah…

I'm giving him up.  
I'll let my hair down.  
Stop being withdrawn,  
Start fooling around.  
I'm giving him up,  
Stop wanting his love.  
This crush has made me crazy and I must get out…

"You're looking really nice," he said,  
Still I sometimes wish I was with Harry instead.  
It is hard to sort out though my head,  
I lay awake all night just thinking in my bed.

Michael asked me out before, is he what I am looking for?  
'Mione guide me in the right direction!  
Maybe she is right this time,  
I'll keep Michael by my side.  
Yet something tells me it is all a lie, yeah…

I'm giving him up,

I'll let my hair down.

Stop being withdrawn,

Start fooling around.

I'm giving him up,

Stop wanting his love.

This crush has made me crazy and I must get out…

There's only so much I can do, it's true.  
He is not Harry, but he will have to do.

I'm giving him up,

Let my red hair down.

Stop being withdrawn,

Start fooling around.

I'm giving him up,

Stop wanting his love.

This crush has made me crazy and I must get out…

_(The music returns to where we left off)_

_**This Time!**_

_(Turn Back Time–Cher) _

**Harry:**

I must save Ron this time!

But I won't let the others stay.

I'll take back this pretty little girl too.

Now she's safe.

I only have one last task.

Then this will all be through,

It will be lovely, lovely,

Even if normal is new.

_(Running though the maze)_

Ooohh

Oh, I can win this time.  
Oh, I can win this time.  
Oh, I can win this time!  
Oh maybe…

_(To Cedric)_  
I'll grab the winners cup with you  
A win for Hogwarts, they'll all know

_(Cedric is Killed)_

No Cedric you can't die!  
Ooohh

**Voldemort**:

I will kill you right this time,  
I have found a better way.  
I'll take back my body and my wand too.

Now I can touch your scar!  
I'll give your wand to you.  
And it's lovely, lovely,  
To see you're going to lose!

**James Potter:**

Harry don't fight this time!

**Other Ghosts:**

Not this time!

**James Potter:**

You must try to get away!

**Other Ghosts: **

Get away!

**Lily and James:**

Our baby, baby, baby  
Please be safe!

_Harry grabs Cedric's body and disappears, _

**Voldemort: **(_fading)_  
You won't get far!

_**My Life is a Disaster**_

_(Beautiful Disaster – Kelly Clarkson) _

**Harry: **

_(Harry is sitting alone in the park)_

I'm having weird dreams,  
It is sort of extreme I know.  
He's now back it seems,  
But the Ministry are turning cold.  
And if I try to maim him,  
My whole world could cave in.  
Why should I fight?  
Why should I fight?

_(In the allyway)_

Oh and I don't know,  
What these dementors are after.  
It's not unusual,  
'Cos my life is a disaster.

_(Hallway at Hogwarts)_

What is the Ministry on?  
I'm angry, mad, no laughter.  
Constantly moody, ergh.  
Just a teenage boy disaster.

_(In the hogs head)_  
It's the truth not a myth,  
He's back you all must believe.

_(To herself)_

**Ginny:**

He's a tragedy with,  
More damage than a soul should see.

**Hermione to the Group: **

So, who is out and who's in?  
Try hard to detain him,  
We must fight!

**D.A:**

D.A, we must fight

Oh 'cause we don't know,  
We don't know what he's after,  
We can stop the usual.  
We must stop all the disaster.

**Harry: **_(to Cho)_

So are we off or on?  
Always tears, please more laughter.

_(Cho leaves)_

Cho is so beautiful.  
But is she really what I'm after?

_(Switch to the dungeon. Snape pulls Harry out of the pensive)_  
My mum married him, it's not logical!  
Snape is so mad, he's hysterical.  
Was my dad a bully, just unethical?  
Could I have been wrong?  
Oh, so wrong…

_(Harry floo's Sirius) _

Sirius, I'm losing my touch,  
I'm feeling like I might break.

**Sirius:**

Your father played tough,

He grew up, please make no mistake.

Oh 'cause you don't know,  
What really happened after.

**Remus:**

They were so beautiful,

Admits all of the disaster,

**Sirius:**  
And if they did live on.  
You'd live with love and laughter.  
Cos' it was beautiful.

Before all of this disaster.

**Harry **  
But this is usual,  
My life is a disaster.

_[Fading]_  
Usual  
(My life is a disaster.)  
My life is a disaster.

_**I believed in**_

_(Beautiful Lie- OK-GO)_

**Harry: **

Lie asleep in bed at night,

I see snatches of his life,  
But this one it was different.  
This one was not the truth,  
But being a reckless youth,  
I walked in to his game.

**Neville, Luna, Ginny, Hermione and Ron: **

To his rescue we fly!

To save Sirius we tried, oh.

**Harry: **

Because Voldemort's lie I believed in.  
Predictable, usual why? He knows me.

Prophecy told long in the past  
Held it in my grasp, at last.  
Death Eaters in my face,  
"Give it to me", they say.  
Can't play their deadly game…

_(Order Arrives. Sirius is killed by Bellatrix)_

Sirius did not die.  
There is nothing to deny, yeah.

There is no way he died, I won't believe it.  
I'm wishful, I'm hopeful. He's left me.

_(Dumbledore shows Harry the Prophecy)_

Everyone is looking at me.  
I pace round, around in circles, baby  
Silent wall around me is building higher  
I've got to remember, my destiny, my aim.

(Predictable, dutiful)  
It's my duty try.  
(Predictable, usual)  
Could be my duty to die.  
(Predicable, dutiful)  
It's my duty try.  
(Predictable, usual)

Prophecy did not lie.  
Our destinies entwined, oh.

Feel my childhood has died, prophecy took it.  
So dutiful, dutiful, I should be.

_(Curtain falls)_  
_

* * *

_  
Thanks for reading. Why not review? Act II we will see more Romance, Drama and great music from the likes of Les Mis, Rent, Bowling for Soup and many more :D


	2. Act Two

**_I'll Try_**

_(If I fail- Cartlel)_

Time to go, "This is goodbye" I said.  
Will the Dursley's ever know that I live like this?  
And, it's been two weeks,  
But I now miss you even more.  
Give in, I would honestly love to now,  
But I know it would let you down.

Oh I have the hardest time forgetting you,  
And oh it's true.

I'll never feel the same way,

How can he be dead?  
He's right I know,  
I can't go on like this.  
And oh I'll try to give it everything,  
And if I fail well then I failed,  
But at least I'll try to stop him.

I could put my trust in, the friends of my heart,  
They'll make the difference.

And how can I afford to let them down?  
Well I, I will promise to fight him now,  
But I could struggle and let them down.

_Sits down Ron and Hermione_

Oh, I have the hardest time telling you,  
And oh it's true.  
There only is one way, but you are my best friends,  
It's right you know, prophecy told of this.  
And oh, I'll try to give it everything,  
And if I fail well then I failed,  
But at least I'll give it something.

**Ron:**  
This leaves me in silence,

**Hermione:**  
It stands to a good reason.

**Ron:**

Of so much importance,

**Harr: **

I know,

Why me, there is no reason,

**Hermione:**

I know.

**Ron:**

We must leave this in silence.

**Harry: **

I know.

**Hermione **  
Oh, I know there's a reason

**Harry: **

I'll never feel the same way,

I can't see how this ends  
He's right I know  
I can't go on like this  
And oh I'll try to give it everything  
And if I fail well then I failed  
But at least I'll try to stop him.

I'll end this in silence  
I'll end this in silence

**_My Best Friend (and his Sister)_**

_(You're My Best Friend-Queen) _

_Dumbledore shows Harry the Pensive. _

**Dumbledore: **

Oooh, we'll see how he lived  
Whatever those brave could give to me  
And you, you now must see  
Ooo, how did he live, it's funny  
Ooo, you'll see how he lived  
Oh, tell your best friends  
This secret I have

**Harry:**_ To Ron and Hermione _

I've hated him such a long time  
I can't define  
But I want you to know  
That these dealings are true  
How Voldemort grew

_Hermione leaves. _

Ron is my best friend.

Ooo, it's time for Quidditch  
I've been flying around  
She stuns me it's true (She stuns me it's true)  
In rain or shine  
I look at that girl  
I'm happy, oh no… (happy, oh no )

Ron is my best friend

Ooo. that moment forgive,  
Cos' Ginny is just Ron's sis to me  
It's true, truth I must see  
Ooo, it's how I live, it's funny  
Ooo, why won't this give?

Oh, don't tell my best friend  
Oh, things turned out bad  
I know, I'd rather be lonely  
Cos this is no fun,  
But I love

I really love  
The things that she do

But, Ron is my best friend

Ooo, she make me live.  
I'm happy oh no… (happy oh no)  
He's my best friend  
He's my best friend  
No, she make me live  
Ron you're my best friend****

**_So Damn Hot_**

_(You're So Damn Hot- OK-GO)_

**Harry:**

I saw you snogging Dean, too far.  
I felt the beast start a-rise-ing, baby.  
Don't even try and find a line this time, it's fine. I just wish that you were mine.

You don't love me at all.

I don't know why that bothers me at all.  
You're a red-headed, boy-trap, out-of-bounds, but you're...  
You're so damn hot.

You're so damn hot.

You're so damn hot.

Oh.

I dreamed about you last night, darl.  
It's too bad that you're Ron's sister, sweetie.  
But damn it, I'm his mate, it's messed, no test. Yet, I don't want you any less.

You don't love me at all.

But I wanna kiss you in the Great Hall.  
You're a red-headed, boy-trap, out-of-bounds, but you're...  
You're so damn hot.

You're so damn hot.

You're so damn hot.

So who's this other guy you've got?  
Dean Thomas is too stupid for ya.  
I could have swore you said before, "No more, dumb 'Claws." But he's just a dumb Gryffindor!

You loved me when you were small.

That time has passed, now I want a recall.  
You're a red-headed, boy-trap, out-of-bounds, but you're...  
You're so damn hot.

You're so damn hot.

You're so damn hot.

**_Ginny, Yeah_**

_(Juliet – Army of Freshman)_

**Harry:**

She's an angel in the hallway, in the burrow, the Great Hall.  
I see her everywhere I go, she don't see me at all.  
These feelings, I try to shove away, but they never seem to end.  
I'd ask for some advice, but then Ron won't be my friend.

**Twins:**

What's this that Ron has told us, a list of 37 names?

**Ginny:**

Just one Captains stupid. Ron is getting really lame.

**Ron:**

She too popular for her own good,

**Harry:**

I do agree with that.

**Hermione:**

How can Ron keep snogging that stupid, childish, girly brat?

**Harry:**

It's so old, a really big risk, oh.  
She's dating Dean, I know. I've got to go.  
Chest burning, monster resist her!  
Wish I could kiss her. I'll never get, Ginny. Yet…

She's the picture of perfection, I really must have lost my mind.  
They say that Dean's no longer in. Could I be first in line?  
I'm working on my battle plan, it's pretty bad so far.

But I doubt that she'd go out with me, I have a stupid scar.

I'll go around in circles.  
Does she love me, does she not?

Either way it doesn't matter, Ron'll jinx me on the spot.

No solution to this problem, still looks like awful news.  
Because I really want to choose her, but Ron's friendship I will lose.

Wide-eyed, tongue-tied, does Hogwarts have a pier?

It's so old, it's a really big risk, oh.  
She's single now, I know. I've got to go.  
Chest burning, monster resist her!  
Wish I could kiss her. I'll never get…

She is Ron's sis, but my sister she's not.  
I should settle down, I should take what I've got.  
But when we're playing Quidditch and she sends me that smile.

Miracles happen every once in a while.

It's so old, my love is a risk, oh.  
No further now, I know. I've got to go.

Time for bold, take a big risk, oh.  
Take a chance, I know. I've got to go!  
Chest burning, monster persist her!  
Wish I could kiss her. I could get, Ginny, yeah!

Ginny yeah!  
She's an angel in the hallway, in the burrow, the Great Hall.

Ginny yeah!  
She's the picture of perfection, could I really make her mine?  
Ginny yeah!  
Wide-eyed, I'll try.

Can win her heart right here?

**_I'm Gunna Kiss the Girl_**

_(Kiss the Girl – The Little Mermaid)_

**Harry: **_(to himself)_

There I see her,  
Smiling there across the way.  
Ron will have a lot to say,  
But there's something about her.  
And I don't know why,  
But I'm dying to try,  
I wanna kiss the girl.

Yes, I want her.  
For some time I have known I do.  
Is it possible she wants me, too?  
There is one way to ask her.  
It don't take a word,  
Not a single word,  
I've got to kiss the girl

**Ginny: **_(to herself)_

I'll hug him now,  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
My, oh, my  
Look at the boy too shy ,

**Hermione: **_(to herself)_

He ain't gonna kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Ain't that sad,  
Ain't it shame, too bad,  
He's gonna miss the girl.

**Ginny: **

Now's our moment,  
I feel as though it's just us two.  
Boy, you better do it soon,  
No time will be better.

**Hermione: **_(to herself)_

She don't say a word.  
And she won't say a word,  
Until you kiss the girl.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't be scared,  
You got the mood prepared,  
Go on and kiss the girl.

_(Ginny and Harry kiss)_

**Ron:**

Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
What's this? How?  
He's not my best friend now!  
Not since he kissed the girl!

_(Harry and Ginny break apart)_

**Ginny: **

Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
All along,  
Wanted this so long.

**Harry:**

Now I've kissed the girl!

**Romilda Van: **

Sha-la-la-la-la-la

Damn, no way!  
She's Harry today!

What a lucky girl.

**Harry:**

I've gone and kissed the girl

**Hermione: **

Thank god he kissed the girl.

**Ron:**

I think I'm gunna hurl.

**Ginny: **(_leading Harry outside)_

Come on and kiss the girl…

_Musical interlude, Harry and Ginny are happy. Music grows darker and a battle ensures. Dumbledore dies. _

**_If You Die_**

_(When We Die – Bowling for Soup)_

_At Dumbledore's Funeral _

**Harry**

I know it was early,  
And I was too young to think;  
When my parents tried to save me,  
And their lives went down the sink.

But I thought that I should tell you,  
Though you know what I will say.  
He has pulled my life to pieces,  
Things can never be the same.

'Cos you're not worth losing,  
Especially when I have to fight.

And together we'll never be fine.  
I've made that mistake,  
Hopes have faded with time.  
As long as you live, I can get by;  
But I won't get back up, if you die.

It's only been days now,  
But I don't feel the same.  
The hopes and quests he had for me,  
I can't let down the drain.  
And the room feels so empty, where Dumbledore used to be.  
He can no longer fight for us,  
It's all on me.

But you're not worth losing,  
Especially when I have to fight.

And together we'll never be fine,  
I've made that mistake,  
Hopes have faded with time.  
As long as you live, I can get by,  
But I won't get back up, if you die.

It's over, it's over.  
'Cos I gotta know. I should be doing this all on my own.

It's over, it's over.  
How can I stop him if your not here?

And together we'll never be fine.  
I've made that mistake,  
Hopes have faded with time.  
As long as you live, I can get by,  
But I won't get back up, if you die.  
And together we'll never be fine.  
I've made that mistake,  
Hopes have faded with time.  
As long as you live, I can get by;  
But I won't get back up, if you die.

It's over.  
It's over.  
It's over.  
It's over.  
(I gotta know)  
'Cos we don't have a chance, till he dies.

* * *

So what did you think? This Act was all about Harry and Ginny, with lots of Harry parodies. Review?


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